My AA Journey

2007, I thought this year will be the start of my new beginning at work. Im earning not a lot but at least could help my family. I'm enjoying my stay at the company I am working to, but then, like most of us know, we don't handle our fate. 2008, by the end of January, things become different. February 1, I was hospitalized. As days passed, series of tests had been made but still they couldn't find anything, what was the reason why my hemoglobin drops.. Then they called a hematologist. They referred me to a known hematologist of the country. I was afraid as they said they're going to do Bone Marrow Aspirates/Biopsy. I kept asking my cousin who is a doctor how painful it is. They keep saying, it wasn't painful at all, but afterwards I found out she told my mom it is indeed painful. The day of the Bone Marrow came and I was really scared. The hematologist was late and came to my room I think past 7 pm already. I told my cousin and my other cousin who is a doctor to stay with me during that operation. I cried to death, I couldn't believe Bone Marrow was so painful. I grabbed the hand of the nurse and told her not to leave me but then she has to help the doctors so she called my other cousin to hold my hand. Then my cousin (doctor) came to the room and told me "You can do it, they're almost done". I stopped crying but then when my mom came to my room crying, i cried again, I cried like a child. My mom told me that my cousin ( doctor ) was crying also because they don't want to see me in pain.
Right after the doctor got the specimens needed, she already told me, I think this is Aplastic Anemia. The specimen looks so pale as in no red in it. Then after a week the result came out, saying I have an Aplastic Anemia...

The doctor gave me medicines and told me, this will be a trial and error treatment. As they have to know what medicines will match in my case. I took steroids and testosterone at first but testosterone didn't help me.. So the doctor changed it to cyclosporin. The medicines are responding but then the worse scenario came. I had pain on my lower back.. I was shouting to death of pain and my parents didn't know what to do. So they rushed to the hospital and I was confined there.. they did some MRI on me and found out that my muscles stucked. The doctor was afraid as they thought it was my bones. I had read that steroids affects bones so they were afraid of the side effect. Then I had series of therapy to be able to walk.. It helped me as I walked slowly. We got out immediately from the hospital once that I felt a bit fine since we are lack financially and can't afford to stay too long to the hospital. At home I had series of therapy also.. I walked but not normally, as I can walked slowly.. But then, since the doctor lessen the steroids and changed my cyclosporin my condition became not too well. I had series of blood transfusion. The doctor needs to eliminate my cyclosporin as im having problem with my creatinine.. My doctor told me I'm too sensitive when it comes to my medications. Right now, At this time Im fat, I gained weight because of the steroids...

During these days, especially when I was starting my treatment, Im losing hope. I thought of ending my life. I cried a lot and my parents keep on telling me not to think that way.. I think I thought of ending my life not only once. I  thought of that because I know we are financially lack and because I know my parents are tired of our situation. But then, now, I think differently. I thought God has given us this, because He loves us more than the others. He loves me and I know he will help us.. Well, with the help of PCSO, I can say now im quite doing fine. They help us with my medications. Still hardly walk but at least Im feeling fine. Early this year im still having series of blood transfusion but to date so far I think couple of months already Im not being transfused. At this time, my hemoglobin is 11.6, happy to have this result. Actually it drops from 12.6 last month. Im happy also that my AA only affects hemoglobin.

Now, Im happy to have survived for 4 years  and counting. I also had 2 Bone Marrow biopsy but  I do believe that one day I will be well, and will do what I used to do. I do believe that one day, I won't be needing my medicines.. That one day I can go out and shop again with my mom. That we will just visit the doctor to monitor my condition and she will just smile at me and say you're doing well, and that one day I can walk well again..

Aplastic Anemia is known to my family as my Grandmother (my mom's mom) died in this disease. I never thought of myself to die at this early. I know God is just in need of my attention so now I always pray to him, to guide me in my battle.. Now I can say Im not losing hope, I will be well one day. Right now, Im just enjoying life, even if im just at home, im trying to enjoy it. Surfing the net helps me a lot not to feel bored. During check ups, me and my dad look like we are just playing.. He pushes my wheelchair and i'll just play along, feels like Im on my car. He calls my wheelchair limousine.
Now I never get tired of going to the doctor as I believe im progressing. Every morning as I wake up, Im thankful that Im alive. Having supportive parents, friends and relatives makes me feel well and strong.

I do hope that this won't scare people who is just starting of having AA.. I hope this will inspire as the first thought of giving up now becomes fighter.

To those who has the same condition as mine, Lets fight this disease. We can all do this.. Thinking positively is really helpful .. stop pitying yourself, just pray and lets fight AA ;)