It Christmas time. I thought as I age I wouldn't enjoy this special day. That it'll turn out to be just a normal day for me but come to think of it I somehow enjoy it. Not totally enjoyed as I'm kinda thinking that before, when I was still working I used to give something for my parents even on my own little way. Something like material things or just money to include for our food. But now, well I have nothing. Another frustrating reality is that I am now the one being given something for Christmas. hehe.. I received something this Christmas and will save it for my medicines. I just hope someone will give me money again so that my savings will increase. I really need money for my medicines. My wish for this Christmas and even these past Christmases, is that I'll get well and will back to my normal self. Though I know things wouldn't be the same for me but still I want to be well and strong. 

Come to think of it, I'm always complaining about the pain I'm having but when I found out about how painful my auntie is having, I think my condition is nothing compared to her. I know my condition is serious and fatal and so as she but the pain, she's experiencing more pain than I am.Sometimes I wonder why do we have to experience this sickness. I do hope she'll be well but apparently no comment. 

I don't know why things happen this way. I shouldn't ask because I know this is what God wants to happen and He knows the right thing. Still can't help it but to think how other people enjoy their life while us, sick people, trying to find a way to extend our lives. 

It's Christmas, I just wish all these sick people be well, that I'll be well and no more pains to experience during treatments. Hay...