I just wonder what year we'll have this 2015. I just hope that we'll get lucky. Of course without hard work, without doing anything, nothing will happen for us. But still, I'm curious. It's been a long journey for me and my family. Having this condition is so tiring but still we have to fight. Smile in every way we could. Just handle the situation lightly. As I can recall, the time I was diagnosed, I saw my mom lost her weight. She was so worried and it showed in her face but now, as I look at her, even though she's still worried and thinking of where to get money for my medicines and food, she gained weight which I loved seeing. I love seeing her smile. Also as I can recall, I never saw my dad cry, but when I was in the hospital bed ridden, so so down and frustrated, given up, my dad cried as he expressed how difficult it is also for them my situation. How they are doing everything even in the hardest way they'll do everything for me. I was touched during those times. Maybe that's the reason why now, I wanted to fight, I wanted to survive this and I know in God's will I can survive, we can survive this. My family is my treasure. I can't even work far from this place, knowing I will never see them even for a day. As I can recall, I used to apply just here in Laguna and when I got hired, I cried not because I was touched of the thought of being hired immediately but because I'm worried that I have to stay there for a week then go home afterwards. Thinking that I will never see them in a day is so hard for me. They are my treasure. That is why I applied in a company nearby where in I was lucky enough to meet so wonderful people. I missed them. I missed working and earning even if I just earn a little compare to my other college classmates. I'm lucky and happy enough because I get to see my family everyday and I can give something to my mom even if its just a small amount. We were happy then. After work me and my mom just go to the mall window shopping and then eat together. How I wish I can turn back time and cherish all these moments again. I so missed it. But then this condition happen. Maybe that is why it was so hard for me to accept at first my condition. I even told my mom I wanna die and haven't noticed that it was more difficult for them hearing all those words I said. I regret the times I told her that, because I hurt her but I can't change the fact that I already had said those words to her. But now I'm trying to be strong for them. I know I am well. Maybe not as strong as before, maybe not too well but I know God healed me through Father Fallier. I'm so glad I attended his mass here in Brgy Concepcion at the Immaculate Concepcion Church. I think my first healing with him I wasn't healed well or the Holy Spirit didn't get in me because I was too worried about me collapsing. But in the healing in Brgy Concepcion I was in a wheelchair then that is why I am worry free I felt that I was really healed and at this moment even though I still can't walk far distances, I can say I can walk well than before. God is really great. I also wanted to visit the St Pio Shrine here in Sto Tomas Batangas apparently we don't have a car to use. Also we don't have money for the expenses. I also wanted to visit Our Lady of Manaoag again. The last time I visited there I can still walk and go upstairs but apparently right now I can't do that. But of course our hindrance is the money to use in travelling. I want to tour around I'm really bored at home. Been at home most of the times staring at the four sides of the house, watching tv, surfing the net, facebooking. Most of my friends and relatives been teasing me that I'm always online 24/7. Well what else can I do, It'll be more boring if we don't have internet. Luckily internet has been created and so my boredom is lessen. There are lots of things I wish I experienced. Thing I wish I had given to my family but then they are just wish. Sad but true. I love my family. I will survive this I know we  can survive this....